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Sep 2

[SOURCE]

Oh it’s getting so easy to upset the christians these days.

Now there’s a move to replace the use of BC and AD with BCE and CE.  Not a biggy I wouldn’t have thought.  It’s bad enough that we mark our years by counting the number of them since the birth of an imaginary figure.  It’s time to grow up and understand that the world is much bigger than christianity.  It’s crazy that we count our years this way, and it’s become the main system of counting around the globe.  Considering that a vast majority of the world doesn’t actually believe in the christian or jewish god1 it seems somewhat arrogant of the likes of Peter Jensen, Archbitme for Sydney to say this:

Intellectually absurd attempt to write Christ out of human history

or the Opposition Liberal wanker and education spokesperson Christopher Pyne:

Kowtowing to political correctness by the embarrassing removal of AD and BC in our national curriculum is of a piece with the fundamental flaw of trying to deny who we are as a people.

How are christians being denied who they are?  Nobody is trying to write this stupid jesus stuff out of history. What a lot of rot.

When I was at school back in the 1970′s (that’s CE) we were already using BCE and CE, it doesn’t seem to have stopped the catholics from believing this rubbish about god.

I suggest that we start counting the years based on the age of the earth,  so we’re about 4,550,000,000, next year will be 4,550,000,001.  Oh, that all sounds way too hard.  Let’s do it based on the birth of me.  Then we can have BBL and ABL.

Sounds delightful.

  1.  Some 77% believe in something other than jesus SOURCE
Aug 29

[SOURCE]

I’m all for education!  But I did splutter when I read that the Melbourne College of Divinity(MCD) has been has been given permission to operate as a Specialist University.

Now MCD have been operating for 100 years, set up by a bunch of christian cultists from various sects to educate their people in their ways.  But they don’t do any serious education at all.  A look at their courses makes this quite clear.

Associate Diploma in Ministry
Diploma in Ministry
Diploma in Theology
Advanced Diploma in Ministry
Advanced Diploma in Theology

There’s plenty more listed on their website.  All really good useless diplomas.  Not contributing anything useful to the world at all.  You can get government assistance if you undertake studies at MCD, even a research grant, and it’s good to know that our important research funding is being spent on things like:

Tracing the Pulse: An investigation into vitality in Australian Catholic parishes and the capacity of a social capital theory framework to identify it.

The Scandal of the Scandal of Particularity

Homecoming in Haizi: the resonance of the Gospel and the Chinese soul-search.

The Skilled Caregivers: Tending God’s People in the Myanmar Context.

It all adds so much to bettering the world by finding justification for the dogma of religion.

Australia, and Victoria, makes a mockery of education by granting MCD this special status.  It undermines the serious educational value of real universities.

Aug 24

[SOURCE]

A rare earthquake hits the east coast of the USA and suddenly the second coming is on its way.  Praise jesus!

I love reading the stuff on the Rapture Ready Bulletin Board always have something good to say

Have a look at the forum, but here are the good bits from various authors.

 I know we Christians don’t need a sign but last night, for the first time, I prayed to the Lord to give those that are lost a sign that will turn them to His word.  I can’t help but believe He answered my prayer!

So, you prayed to jesus and asked for a sign and next day there’s an earthquake.  Wow.  You should ask for world peace next!

Interesting observations:

We are almost exactly one lunar month away from the UN vote to divide Israel (9/20), a potential spiritual earthquake of Biblical proportions.

Almost exactly! You can’t get more exact than that.

I felt the earthquake this was my first time and I was scared. At first it was just a tremble then next things started to fall off the shelf. We made way for the stairs and got out of the building. I do think God is trying to get the world’s attention. I don’t think it was a coincidence that it just happen to hit where the president was once again vacationing.

So god doesn’t want the president to go on holiday?  And if he really wants the world’s attention he might try something better than a bit of ground shaking.

 My first thought; how appropriate.

Second thought, Thanks, Lord, I needed some encouragement.

I really don’t think we’ll be here for long now.

Wait…you need encouragement, and an earth… oh that’s just too hard.

When I heard it was felt in DC, first thing I thought of was how Obama keeps turning his back on Israel.

I always think this. As a matter of fact, I’ve been ‘waiting’ for the repercussions of Obama’s policy toward Israel for a while now.

The first I thought was, shit, was anyone hurt, it never occurred to me to link Obama, Israel and an earthquake.  How silly am I?

My God, what have you done… His power and might and display of glory is AWESOME. Tremble in front of our God of power!

And if you do the dance in just the right way, you get rain.

Here, I was JUST thinking this morning, that Washington D.C. would have to get it, and was even pondering that New York would probably suffer as well for their actions…and I have just seen them both.

Oh yes, that showed them.  The world has now changed because of the earthquake, your god made that really really clear.

God just fired a warning shot, and just outside DC, how obivous can it be. Mr Obama, heed the warning, you are travelling further down the path of destruction, you are nearing the point of no return. Repent.

Wouldn’t it be easier if god just gave him a call on his mobile, he must have the number.  I would think that was even more obvious.

Aug 24

[SOURCE]
Marriage equality is all the rage in Australia at the present. As our parliament sits to hear the views of its constituency, plenty of christians are getting themselves all worked up demanding that a minority may not dictate the agenda. That is, the so-called militant homosexual lobby may not tell everyone else how to live. Again and again ignoring the reality. Nobody is telling anyone how to live. Nobody is asking you to get married to a person of the same-sex, nobody is telling you that you have to marry a person of the opposite sex. This is about equality. Why are you so scared of equality?

My old mate, Bill, he of the persecuted christian sect, is on his high horse rallying the troops, and I just can’t help my self. Here’s what he’s got to say.

Whenever a time of crisis erupts, more than ever, there is a pressing need for individuals to take a stand, and to do so courageously. And unless you are blind, deaf, and dumb, you would know that we are certainly living in a time of overwhelming crisis.

WTF? What crisis. What overwhelming crisis is this? The fight for freedom in repressive regimes? The fight for food in famine stricken Africa? The battle against global warming? The struggle for financial freedom for the poor?  And within the first paragraph the tone is set, if you don’t agree that there’s a crisis then you are blind, deaf and dumb.  You either agree with Bill or he thinks you are a complete fucking moron.

The whole Western world seems to be going up in flames – not just London. Each new day we find plenty of headlines illustrating how a moral, spiritual, cultural and ideological crisis is upon us. But the only question is, in the light of all this, what will good men and women do?

The whole western world… all of it, Australia, Canada, Europe, America, the whole lot going up in flames, wow. Good men will try and fix it by understanding the issues and not trying to enforce their own beliefs on the issues.

How will we respond? Will we simply cover our eyes and pretend all this is not happening? Will we hope someone else makes a stand on our behalf? Will we deceive ourselves into buying the PC line that just getting along and not rocking the boat is the best option.

You should try getting along with others, you may enjoy it. There are people out there who need compassion and understanding.  Bill makes it clear that unless you accept his view of the world you are guilty of bringing the end of the world.  He makes it clear that you may not turn a blind eye or stand back and do nothing.

Or will we stand and fight? In my eyes the last option is our only option.

Fight? Who will you fight? Why is this the only option? You’ve created a fictitious battle that is an overwhelming crisis, and now you want to fight.  So now that he’s made you feel bad because the world is ending and you’re not doing enough, he calls you to arms.  He attempts to incite in you a violent response.

The next question is, do we have the courage to stand up and be counted? Now is the day we desperately need men and women of courage – those who will not wilt under pressure or give up out of fear.

The only fear you have is that you may not be in control. You create the crisis and then want people to have courage to fight your imaginary battle. The wilting ones are the ones who accept your self-perpetuating crisis as truth.  Bill is now attempting to manipulate you by calling you a coward,  a coward if you don’t have the courage to stand up and be counted.  Just to make sure you get the point, he tells us that the need is desperate.

Of interest is the list offered in the book of Revelation telling us who will not inherit Christ and his Kingdom. Leading the list are the fearful, or the cowardly (Rev 21:8). Those lacking in courage will in effect deny their Lord in the time of battle.

Of course, that reference to Revelations also gives us the news that the unbelieving, the abominable, the murderers, the whoremongers,the sorcerers, idolaters and liars will end up in lake of brimstone and fire. Hell, I guess. It’s nice to know that the gays are probably included in either the whoremongers or the abominable. This is the same book that gives us the delightful image of a great red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns upon it’s head. Yeah, that’s the sort of book I want to believe in.  Bill uses this quote to point out to the believers, that if you don’t participate in this fight, you’re going to hell.  He’s making it clear that you won’t inherit the kingdom of god, that is, heaven.

Jesus made it clear how such people are to be viewed: “I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God. But he who disowns me before men will be disowned before the angels of God” (Luke 12:8-9).

So, take a bit of Revelations and a bit out of Luke and use it to say that if you don’t do what Bill says then you are disowning christ and will end up in the lake of fire and brimstone. Nice one Bill, how to win friends and influence people. You need to make sure you’re good with the lord so you can be acknowledged before the angels of god. Is that like having 72 virgins?

‘But,’ some will protest, ‘I have never denied Christ’. Please think again. When the very gospel is under threat yet we stand idly by and do nothing, have we not denied our Lord?

How is the gospel under threat? Christianity thrives with its churches and massive finances, it’s not under threat. I haven’t heard any politician call for the gospel to be banned, or for your organised religions to be dismantled. There’s no threat.  This is all part of the same mind game to make you feel guilt for not agreeing with him.

When God’s institutions of marriage and family are under direct assault, and we sit by and do nothing, have we not denied our Lord?

Direct assault? Please, there is no direct assault. Nobody is denying your right to have the family you want. You however are directly assaulting the rights of others to enjoy their life in their way.

When people are heading to a lost eternity yet we remain silent, have we not denied our Lord?

You’ll notice the fear again here, he’s fearful of a lost eternity, not just for others, but mostly for himself, he actually thinks that he may end up in hell if he doesn’t try and save the rest of us.  To get you onside, he tries a guilt trip.  He attempts to make it your fault that others will burn in hell.  I can smell the burning incense of arrogance.

When people are bound in destructive and terminal lifestyles, yet we do nothing to let them know they can be set free in Christ, have we not denied our Lord?

Who are you to tell others what a destructive and terminal lifestyle is?  Who are you to attempt to make others feel guilty because they don’t call the ‘homosexual lifestyle’ destructive and terminal.  There’s that smell again.

The tragic truth is, there is a cosmic battle going on right now, and lives are being lost, families are being destroyed, nations are crumbling, and hope is being taken away.

This is truth? You think there is a cosmic battle going on.  The cosmos doesn’t provide a battlefield for you to play your pathetic little games on, it has no way to care about you, it just does what a cosmos does, it spins. The grand claim that families are being destroyed and that nations are crumbling is the biggest pile of pooh I’ve heard for ages. The notion here is that the calls for gay marriage are destroying families. Let’s ignore the fact that the men and women in married relationships are often looking to get out of them, let’s ignore that our society continues to grow and prosper, despite the greed of the rich, despite the divorce rate.  Let’s ignore that most young people continue to grow up, get jobs and contribute to society, despite having come from divorced families, poor backgrounds.  These some children, now adults continue to find partners, have families and the cycle continues.  It’s not crumbling.  The only hope being removed is that of die-hard christians, that they will continue to have a major influence on society.

Yet we sit by and do nothing and say nothing. But even the smallest things that we can do might be of help, yet we seem too fearful or incapacitated to do even these things.

On a cosmic level? You don’t even rate.  Are you still trying to make people feel guilty?

What about taking 1.3 seconds of your time to press the ‘like’ button on Facebook when someone has posted a biblical quote or a helpful Christian word? It can be that easy and simple, and it may encourage another brother to keep on in the battle.

Oh yeah, that’ll change the cosmic battle going on. Bring it on baby.  Sounds like nobody likes Bill’s posts on Facebook.  Must be very disappointing.  So ego deflating.

I often get people telling me they are discouraged and tired of all these struggles. They want to give up. They are discouraged. They think we are not getting anywhere.

You need to listen to them. There’s a reason why you’re not getting anywhere.

My usual reply to them is something like this: “If we ever find that Jesus has given up, has quit the race, has become too discouraged to continue, then we can do the same. But I don’t see this anywhere in Scripture.”

I’m yet to see any evidence that this jesus bloke is still about. I reckon if he is this almighty god thing, he appears to have given up.  Bill wants to make sure you understand how unworthy you are of christ because you want to give up, when you should follow the example of his loin-clothed god.

The truth is, Jesus drank the cup to the bitter end. He kept going all the way to the cruel cross – for me and for you. He loved us too much to want to drop out or to just live a quiet and peaceful life. He did not insist on his own rights, but gave them all up, so that we might live.

Oh what bullshit. This is such a fantasy story, not based in reality at all. If this jesus thing, you claim was god, loved us so much he would say so without the crazy antics of pretending to die as a sacrifice only to magically come back to life, thereby not sacrificing anything.

I sometimes get people writing to me, asking if I can remove their comments from my site which they posted in the past. Some have discovered that they are now public property – being monitored and checked up on in cyberspace. I reply by saying that unless there is a very good reason for this, I am not too keen. Why are they asking me to do this? Is it just fear, or not wanting to make enemies, cause trouble, rock the boat, etc?

Some say they have privacy concerns, etc. But I am not impressed with those reasons either. Sorry, but when we come to Christ, we lose our right to privacy. We also lose our right to a life of ease, comfort, luxury and security. In fact, we lose all our rights. We are no longer our own – we are bought with a price.

What an arrogant cunt you are. You’re as bad as Facebook keeping everything for ever. People are entitled to change their minds and people are entitled to a life of ease, comfort and luxury, with security thrown in.  I suspect however, Bill, that you like to keep a dossier  on everyone, so you can quote them back to themselves when they finally see what a fuckwit you really are.  It’s all about power Bill.  You love having the power to decide what’s good for other people.

When we become a disciple of Christ, we give up all claims to living a selfish, comfortable and easy life. Quite the opposite. As Bonhoeffer rightly said, “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” Dead people have no rights – it is that simple.

Your christ is a prick. You are very selfish.

Of course no one prefers living a life of ostracism, scorn and rejection. But that is what Jesus did, and he told us that the servant is not above the master. To follow Christ means we also will be rejected, ridiculed, hated and persecuted. And that is certainly not fun.

Yet, you treat people with scorn and rejection. It’s funny how you reject, ridicule, hate and persecute gay people and then attempt to claim these very same things for yourself. You then see it as not being fun, with that in mind, most normal people would have some empathy.

Does anyone really think I like all the flack, opposition, abuse, and persecution I get on a regular basis? Do I really thrive on all the hate mail and death threats? It would of course be so very easy to avoid all of this. I could simply stop what I am doing and say nothing: a guarantee to a quiet and peaceful life.

Well yes, I think you do thrive on those things. How else can you keep up such an outwardly hateful exterior.

In fact, I can do what some “Christians” are now doing, and call God a liar. I can argue that what God calls a sin is not in fact a sin. I can say instead that something like homosexuality is God’s gift to mankind, and that to be compassionate and loving, I should instead promote and advocate for this lifestyle. I can even argue that Jesus would favour same-sex marriage.

Or you could just come to the realisation that there is no god, and drop the appalling reasons for your ongoing persecution of those who aren’t like you.

That would be the easy path. Indeed, that would make me the flavour of the month. I would become terribly popular, and even the MSM would give me lots of praise and approval. Yet as Alan Sears has just written, “It doesn’t take courage to ride the wave of support for same-sex ‘marriage.’ It takes courage to stand against the surging tide.”

You’ll never be popular, no matter what you do. The easy path is to maintain your pathetic pretense of speaking for a non-existent god. If you are serious about caring for other people, you’d spend more time asking why, instead of accepting the reason as being ‘coz god said so’.

Quite so. To stand up for God’s standards of holiness and righteousness in the public arena on any topic is to take a courageous stance. If you want to be at rest and have everyone applaud you, then simply go with the flow, and stand up for abortion rights, pornography rights, homosexual rights, and other trendy secular left causes.

So, you’re against letting people just get on with their lives. In your smelly arrogance you think that you have the right to inflict others with your stand on abortion, (of which jesus makes no mention) on pornography (of which jesus makes no mention) and on homosexual rights (of which jesus makes no mention). You claim the moral high ground on your interpretation of ancient text that had no way of knowing what life would be like 2,000 years later.

Anyone can do that. Indeed, any dead fish can simply float downstream. But it takes a living fish to swim upstream, against the current. The call to Christian discipleship is a call to swim against the world’s currents. The world will always be opposed to the things of God, so to stand for Christ will always be to stand against the world.

Oh for fuck sake, the prevailing attitudes in Australia is that of the christian world. Most of the population isn’t doing any swimming, they are going with the flow. The real challenge is to have the christians understand their place of privilege in our world and acknowledge that there are other ways. Stop floating Bill, have some courage to allow people to be who they are. You are full of such arrogance to suggest that if your followers don’t swim the way you do, then they are dead.  Rude.

Such a stance requires courage. But the good news is, it is not a question of us mustering up some courage on our own. God provides it. He enables and empowers us. We cannot do it ourselves. I am probably full of fear most of the time. But as George S. Patton has reminded us, “Courage is fear holding on a minute longer”.

You’re not courageous. You’re a coward and an arrogant one at that. You have created a belief system that pulls useful phrases out of ridiculous texts to support your bigotry and you pretend that this is the only way for the world to be. You allow your beliefs to enable you to think you have some sort of authority and power. You’re not full of fear, you’re full of horseshit, and you try to goad people into the fight by telling them that unless they think like you, act like you. they’re bound for hell.

A.A. Hodge once put it this way: “It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand up for it.” But men of courage will inspire others. As Billy Graham said, “Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.”

The truth stares at you. Look up into the night sky, the cosmos is there, uncaring, getting on with it’s spinning. It doesn’t care, it can’t care. Your religion is there for you to comfort yourself against the reality of the universe. You, I and everyone else on the face of this earth are insignificant to the cosmos. The universe will not end based on your ramblings and predictions.

Remember what Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” And if that is not enough (although it should be), let me finish with some words of fiction which I often turn back to. They come from the film version of The Lord of the Rings. Aragorn is mustering the troops to stand against an army of orcs much greater and more numerous that they, and he encourages the troops with these words:
“I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of Fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you, stand, men of the West!”

And like the Lord of the Rings, the bible is a made up story, full of impossible things. Nobody in their right mind thinks that the Lord of the Rings is real, we understand it’s fiction.

In these days of unprecedented evil, Christ is looking for men and women of courage. Will you be one of them?

Christ is looking? Perhaps he should create a facebook event and invite everyone. There is real evil in this world. The real evil of starving people, the real evil of dictatorships, the real evil of corporate greed, the real evil of the churches of the world having the ability to prevent both hunger and greed and not doing so. Instead of taking on the real issues, the really important things, the likes of Bill Muehlenberg attempt to make minor issues like equality in marriage the big battlefield, ignoring the very real life situations in our small part of the cosmos.

Here’s some advice Bill. Shut the fuck up. Pull your head out of your arse, and do something useful like help the starving by ensuring that the money and food gets to them, by ensuring that dictators are driven from office, and by ensuring that corporations don’t attempt to make massive profits out of food required to feed the hungry.

I suspect you’ll just pray.

 

Jul 23

It’s easy to blame some sort of islamic nutters when really really bad things happen.  The tradegy in Norway is case in point.  Terrorism.  But not of the islamic making.  A local.  As we have seen in other places around the world, sometimes our very own citizens attack the very society that they grew up in.

The outpouring of emotion for the people of Norway is heart felt.  We are all sort of shocked and surprised that one of ‘our own’, a western democracy, has been attacked in such a way.  We don’t like it when that happens.

Take a moment to spare a few thoughts for those of other terrorism attacks around the world, whether in India, Afghanistan, Pakistan and elsewhere.  They too are home grown terrorist and the people of those nations need our help in fighting fundamentalism, no matter where it is.

Religion is fucked, and has much to answer for.  Have a read of the random thoughts of One Furious Llama.  He’s got some interesting thoughts and is quite clearly a clever llama, a lot like me, just without the swearing.

Jul 17

[SOURCE]

As I often say, you can do something useful with your time, or you could pray.  Now it seems that those radical, fundamentalist, medieval christians want a whole day to waste doing nothing, not even eating.

Crazy batshit stuff.

The NDOPF as they like to call in on their website, says:

The purpose for the National Day of Prayer and Fasting is to pray for the natural family, to pray for marriage as God has created it and to pray for the nation. Currently there is a bill before the Parliament sponsored by the Greens to legalise homosexual marriage in Australia. Marriage redefined is marriage destroyed. Destroy marriage – destroy the family. Destroy family and you destroy the nation.

Oh, it’s a day to pray the gay away is it?  Natural family, what a crock of shit.  Marriage as god created it?  Are you serious?  And pray for the nation?  Cool, that’s right up there with praying for world peace.  It’s a useless pass time that amounts to nothing.

Then into what this is all about.  Marriage equality.  There is no way these right-wing christian fucktards want anyone other than their own special people having families.  They blame the Greens and the Gays.

Marriage redefined is marriage destroyed… how will it be destroyed?  Will people suddenly stop getting married?  No.  Will people suddenly stop having children? No.  What a senseless argument.

Destroy marriage – destroy the family.  - How will allowing equal rights for all to marry destroy a family?  How would two men having a couple of children destroy the family of a man and a woman?  It won’t. It won’t suddenly make all the men in the world gay, and it won’t make all the women gay.  In fact, nothing will change, people will continue to either have children or not have them.  Marriage has nothing to do with having children.

Destroy family and you destroy the nation.  Oh FFS – get a grip

Here’s me old mate, looking remarkably like a mule with glasses, explaining to us just what this is all about

Willy claims that Australia is at a crossroads, I assume he means a crossroad about either allowing marriage equality, or continuing to discriminate against the gay population by excluding them from marriage.  He arrogantly tells us that it’s up to the people of god to decide how this will work, not the politicians, who are elected by the people, but by the people of god who aren’t elected, are not representative of mainstream Australia and beholden to outdate dogma written in the bronze age by goat fuckers.

Then he quotes the holy bile, but only a little bit, the part that says if you seek gods face, he will heal the nation, but really the whole part of the bible is much more revealing:

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, 14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. 16 I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.

So Solomon has just finished a temple, to show how important  he is he offers a sacrifice of twenty-two thousand head of cattle and a hundred and twenty thousand sheep and goats.  Then the lord decides that the temple is good enough for him and talks about drought and plagues, but says that if his people will call his name then he will heal their land.  He’s not talking about anywhere other than Israel where the temple is, he’s talking about prayers offered ‘in this place’.  But don’t let the arsehole attitude of god get in the way.  The stupid lord is saying that if when he withholds the rain and when he sends a swarm of locusts to eat their food, and when he sends a plague among ‘my’ people, when he does these horrible things to his people, when he has beaten them into submission, made them humble themselves before him, then he will heal their land.  What a cunt.

 

The NDOPF is nothing more than another attempt by the christians of this nation to force upon our secular society a society based on what they want, they have no regard for the rest of us.  We must all conform to them and their pseudo morality.  The good thing about this is that they think they can achieve this by fasting and praying.  Which is good, because while they’re busying saying words under their breath and thinking how hungry they are, the rest of us can get on with doing something useful.

Like ensuring that all citizens of this nation are equal.

 

Jul 15

[SOURCE]

Pr Daniel Nalliah has set up a political party, I’ve blogged on him before.

The party is your standard run of the mill christian right (w)ring(ing) of hands type, it’s manifesto includes such great lines as:

our Judeo-Christian heritage, which includes the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, the 1215 Magna Carta and the 1688 Bill of Rights

and

uphold the Constitution of the Commonwealth of Australia, with its Preamble that this nation is “humbly relying on the blessings of God”

and my personal favourite

Believing that socialism is to be avoided and that the free enterprise system is best, as long as it is constrained within the benevolent boundaries of Christian principles; and

Because you can’t actually help people who are down and out, it’s best that they just get a job and get on with it.

But the burning question is why does the pasta want to start a party?  I know it burns in your mind.  The answer is… god told him to, in a dream, or a vision.

That morning the Lord said that He would give me a bottom up and top down plan to transform the nation.  The bottom up plan was to rise up prayer all across Australia and He gave me the name ‘Rise Up Australia’,  but He did not tell me about the top down plan.

God told him to give Australia 20 years

I asked the Lord as to what must I do, and He said to give Him 20 years of my life for Australia and that He will give Australia by 2020 as an inheritance.

An inheritance?  His god is going to give him Australia?

God also revealed to us that the meaning of ‘RUAH’ in Hebrew is ‘the breath of God’ and the meaning of ‘RUA’ in Hebrew is ‘God has given us victory over our enemy (the devil)!’ Glory to God!

OK, I think you may be trying to say that the Hebrew word Ruah could be an acronym of Rise Up Australia Party, which would be RUAP, but alas, the Hebrew word you’re speaking of is Ruach (clearly spelling isn’t one of gods strong points) which does mean breath or spirit, not sure about the breath of god, but if you want to use the correct spelling can I suggest “Rise Up Arsehole Cunts Hope”

And as far as I can tell Rua in Hebrew means to ‘raise a shout’1, it’s pretty difficult to get ‘god has given us victory’ out of that.

So, all in all, the good pasta is onto something, no doubt this bit from Monty Python sums it up really well!

 

It is the hope of the good pasta sauce that he will be elected to parliament, because god told him so.

Really, I mean really, do we want some person who thinks that jesus himself chats to him for a couple of hours, do we really want him in our halls of power.

Rise Up Arseholes!

  1. Check out the other definitions here
Jul 6

[SOURCE]

We’ve all heard about the news that New York State has finally seen the light and permitted marriage equality in their state, well just a bit further north and over to the right a bit, the state of Rhode Island has allowed civil unions.

The church is so up in arms!  The local bishop, Tobin, (and no, you can’t tell someone’s sexuality just based on his name.  Bruce is no more gay than Tobin) has issued a statement:

Statement of Bishop Tobin on the Approval of Civil Unions in Rhode Island
6/30/11

(PROVIDENCE, R.I.)-The Most Rev. Thomas J. Tobin, Bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Providence, today released the following statement relative to the passage of legislation approving civil unions in Rhode Island.

Just to make sure you get that, he is the MOST REVEREND, oh, he’s last name is Tobin, I thought it was his first name.  Oh well, it’s still gay!

“I am deeply disappointed that Rhode Island will establish civil unions in our state.

I’m sorry to hear that you think anything that may make life more equal is deeply disappointing.

The concept of civil unions is a social experiment that promotes an immoral lifestyle,

More immoral than kiddie fucking priests that your church covers up?  Who are you to lecture anyone on morality.  Your church continues to allow people to live in poverty and die from AIDS because your stance doesn’t allow for birth control or use of condoms.

is a mockery of the institution of marriage as designed by God,

Marriage is designed by man, there is no god, you made that up.

undermines the well-being of our families, and poses a threat to religious liberty.

How does two guys getting hitched effect someone else’s family.  And what do you mean “our families” you don’t have children!  Nobody is asking you to grant civil unions, it has nothing do to with you.

In this context it is my obligation to remind Catholics of the teachings of the Church on this matter.

That’s right, it’s your obligation to tell catholics, remember that.  Not the rest of the world.

First, the Church continues to have respect and love for persons with same-sex attraction;

No you don’t you think they are gravely disordered and bound for hell.  Your holy book says a person who is gay is an abomination and should be put to death.

they are indeed children of God and our brothers and sisters in the human family.

I’m not the child of any fucked up god that created me and then wants me dead.  Fuckwit.

We pray for their well-being and offer them spiritual guidance and pastoral care.

As always, you can either pray or do something useful with your time.

We also extend our love and support to families of homosexual persons who sometimes struggle with this difficult emotional issue.

Perhaps they struggle with the whole notion because the underlying message you have for the families is that their child is a sinner and is going to burn in hell forever because they enjoy dick.  (Or muff)

At the same time, the Church reminds its members that homosexual activity is contrary to the natural law

Says who?  What’s unnatural is digging up metal out of the ground, shaping it into gold crosses and drapping them around your neck.  When did you become the scientific expert on what’s natural?

and the will of God and, therefore, is objectively sinful.

But there isn’t a god to have a will and sin is something you use to hit your followers over the head with.

Persons with same-sex attraction are required to live the Christian virtues of chastity and modesty, as all persons are.

Fuck off, you aren’t in a position to require anything of me.  I spit on your so called christian virtues that also allow you to live in a palace while people starve.

The importance of these virtues is clearly established in the Holy Scriptures and in the constant tradition of the Church.

Oh yeah, well that makes it all right.  A book written by goat herders, interpreted by virgins with no real life experience and imposed on their followers, makes sense.

Because civil unions promote an unacceptable lifestyle,

Nobody is asking you to do something that is unacceptable to you.

undermine the faith of the Church on holy matrimony,

Nobody is asking any of your followers to undertake a civil union, therefore it’s not really undermining anything at all is it?

and cause scandal and confusion,

Yep, the catholics know all about scandal and confusion.

Catholics may not participate in civil unions.

Last time I checked you can do whatever you want.  At this point, if you’re catholic, I’d be renouncing it.

To do so is a very grave violation of the moral law and, thus, seriously sinful.

That is the modern way of saying “You’re going to burn in hell motherfucker”

A civil union can never be accepted as a legitimate alternative to matrimony.

Yeah it can.  Get with it bish.

Can there be any doubt that Almighty God will, in His own time and way, pass judgment upon our state, its leaders and citizens, for abandoning His commands and embracing public immorality?

I have no doubt.  There is no god, there  is no judgement.  Again you’re trying to tell people they’ll burn in hell.  What a cunty attitude to have.

I encourage Catholics to pray for God’s patience, mercy and forgiveness in these distressing times.”

I encourage catholics to toss this wanker out of his palace, sell it and all his trappings and do something useful

 

Jun 29

[SOURCE]

There’s a new political party in town called Rise Up Australia.  And despite the name, I regret to inform you that it is not a bunch of horny gays running around with huge phalluses rising up to conquer the world, it is alas a bunch of rabid christians running around with giant erections prepared to fuck the country over by sticking their dicks where they’re not wanted.

The party is lead by Pasta Daniel ‘The Lion’ Nalliah1.  He’s really very excited what with launching his party and having an erection and all.  Have a look at this for arrogance:

Interestingly, the weather forecast was predicting wind and rain for this day, as we checked day after day leading up to Wednesday the 22nd June. Even on the day in the morning, rain was forecasted.

However, the prayer warriors petitioned the God of heaven who always answers prayer! Instead of rain and wind, most miraculously there was bright sunshine. What a mighty God we serve! Thank you everyone for praying and standing with us.

Yes, how interesting that in the middle of winter there would be a prediction for wind and rain.  But thank the lord god almighty, he took a break from saving the starving millions in Dafur, preventing radiation poisoning in Japan, helping a mid-sized university team in the mid west of the USA win their game, to blow the clouds away and make sure that his glorious sun shone down on the rising up of Australia.  Pasta Lion must surely know that he is much loved by god because god will down tools to make sure the sun shines on him.  How marvellous that god always answers prayers when petitioned by prayer warriors, he clearly doesn’t want to get them off side, them being warriors and all.

I’m surprised that the media didn’t pick up on this miracle.  Such greatness has certainly got my vote.

 

  1. Read more about him in previous blogs
Jun 22

[SOURCE]

Access Ministries have been in plenty of hot water lately1.  The delectable Mike Stuchbery has been holding them to account on his blog.  But guess what?  He can’t access his blog anymore!  It seems that Access Mongrels have got WordPress to shut him down based on his republication of some of their material.

While you may not be able to find him on WordPress at the moment, but there’s always Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr.

Read his latest blog, then let the world know that rather than stop and admit that they’re trying to convert Victorian school children to christianity, Access Ministries would prefer to keep on peddling their religious crap to school kids with no proper checks or balances in the program.  Rather than face their critics, it looks like they want to resort to bully tactics.

How very fucking christian.

  1.  Check out this article in The Age
Jun 21

photo by Joe McCarthy

When you meet someone new or are just enjoying discussions with other people, are you ever surprised when you find out they don’t share your views? I keep having this experience! Tonight while at dinner with a group of women, one of them mentioned her pre-teen son being baptized at their church since he just “got saved” and how excited she was. During her story, I kept expecting a punchline—as if she would suddenly laugh and tell a story about going skinny dipping in the baptism dunk tanks. But no, she was totally serious, and nothing’s wrong with that.

It made me wonder: Do we assume the people with whom we get along are going to think the same ways we do? I think I do! For instance, I’m skeptical about the paranormal; I do not believe ghosts exist. A friend of mine gabs constantly about ghost hunting and the supernatural, and all the while  I laugh and think she must be joking because, hell, who honestly believes in ghosts? Well, she does. Why am I so surprised? Is it my ego?

I remember feeling this way as a Christian as well; If I met someone who wasn’t a believer, it was like a trip into a different world. They were strange, foreign, and mysterious. How could they not believe in Jesus? Of course, Christianity is so popular that it’s sometimes difficult to find people who openly identify with something else—at least in my area. So why am I walking through life as part of the atheist minority assuming everyone else thinks Satan is silly and God is a figment of our imaginations? I have no idea! I guess I think I’m normal!

Jun 6

I just love it when christians get upset when you call them names.

Without passing or implying judgement on homosexuals, ACL has been the subject of a vitriolic backlash in the online and social media in the past week.

Lyle Shelton said that on a blog.  He glosses over the fact, flat out ignores it, that people of his ilk believe that homosexuals are evil sinners and if they don’t change their ways they’re going to end up in hell for ever, burning away in pain in the lake of fire for ever.  He pretends that he’s not passing or implying judgement.  What a hoot!

Over-sensitive homosexual activists and their uncivil friends on Twitter and Facebook are quick to jump from a great height with moral huffiness and personal abuse on anyone they perceive to step on their toes.

We’re over-sensitive because we think your god is crap?  We are uncivil because we take exception to your pious claim to some sort of moral superiority based on pathetic stories that are clearly made up about a carpenter dying for everyone’s sins?  You reek of moral huffiness and you dish out personal abuse on a regular basis.  You think you may couch your terms in a way that doesn’t pass judgement, but lets face it, behind your push to stop marriage for all is the biblical notion that people who are gay are an abomination.  That’s the word, an abomination, your book of vile tales also suggests that we be stoned, to death, with stones.  Hurled from the likes of you.

Then there’s the people who think that you shouldn’t be abused.  That nobody should say nasty things about you, it’s counter productive to our cause.  We should all play nice and not swear or call people idiots.  We certainly should not call people fucking idiots.

But dissent is our right in a democracy. It does not make us bigots and it is time social policy debate was free of abuse and slurs.

And yet the abuse and slurs freely flow from religious nutters.  Look at this comment:

They seem to swarm out from under the rocks. Obviously people are threatened – and we know where that comes from! Just remember who we serve!

Implying that we are evil trolls hiding under the rocks until we feel threatened, and ‘we know where that comes from’ – oh yes, we’re sinners from hell.  And remember who we serve – jesus, implying that the rock dwellers serve satan and therefore are not worthy of anything in life until they accept jesus and become straight breeders.  Yes, not swear words, but still really vile abuse.

This comment from sharan at 06 Jun 2011 9:42:02am

This is a winnable war, because it makes common sense to do what is doable.

A war?  How appalling is that.  In the world, no, let’s just look at Afghanistan, 26 Australians have been killed in the war against terrorism1.  Now that’s a war.  Yet, here is a christian who uses that word to describe the activism of people to gain equality in Australia, to allow people who are gay to be treated fairly.  What she (or he) does is equate it to war.  There’s nobody being killed here.  War in her view is the battle between good and evil.  The gays are evil and will be defeated because god is on the christians side.  Again, no foul language, but the intent is really reprehensible.

So you fucking retarded dumb cunt arsed vitrolic nasty christians.  You can sit there all smug with the likes of homosexual activist who don’t swear and bitch and moan about how everyone picks on you and pretend you’re all nice and sweet, but really, you’re appalling, bad, contemptible, corrupt, degenerate, depraved, despicable, dirty, disgraceful, disgusting, evil, filthy, foul, horrid, bits of work.  (Yes, yes, I use a thesaurus)  Nobody is trying to shut you up, but hey fucksticks, just because you don’t swear (because you think it’s a sin) your words and actions are still quite cutting.  It’s time you got over yourselves.

Jun 6

[SOURCE]

The Australian Christian Lobby was congratulating themselves because they managed to get some ads ripped out of Brisbane bus shelters.  The ads showed two men, fully clothed, hugging and one of them holding a condom, the campaign is called Rip and Roll run by the Queensland Association for Healthy Communities, it’s a public health campaign to promote safe sex.

After some sensible people complained to the advertising company, they re-instated the ads.

The ACL is saying that the ads add to the sexualisation of children, whatever that actually means, they also claim that the fact that the ads clearly show ‘gay’ sex has nothing to do with it.

Polite people roll their eyes, others cough ‘bullshit’ into their hands and some call them homophobes.

So, what do the happy christians do?  They go on the defensive, they claim they’re misunderstood, not bigots and not homophobes.  Lyle Shelton is chief of staff for the Australian Christian Lobby, he wrote an article on the ABC’s The Drum.

Now remember, this ad is about safe sex.  That’s sex between two men.

So when a larger-than-life, in-your-face condom advertisement featuring two men in a provocative pose began eye-balling children in bus shelters as they waited to be picked up for school, Wendy swung into action as she has done in the past.

They were hugging, with their clothes on.  Not even an erect nipple in sight.  One of them was holding a condom, but it’s an ad about safe sex, not condoms.

Yes it’s true that ACL does not support homosexual marriage, but neither do many Australians, including the Prime Minister. That doesn’t make us homophobic, bigoted or f***ing idiots.

That’s nice, but this is about a public health message on safe sex.  Why do you bring this up?

ACL has a track record of supporting the removal of discrimination against same-sex couples and backed all of the Rudd government’s 85 law reforms in 2008 which delivered equality, not apartheid.

Oh please, you don’t want gay people represented in any way shape or from.  The issue is about safe sex, not discrimination, you want to hide anything that shows gay sex.  This is not about marriage, it’s not about the pathetic attempt of the Rudd governement to change 85 laws, they only needed to change one.

But equality does not mean marriage should have to be redefined to suit an agenda that is intolerant of the cultural and even religious sensibilities of a great many Australians.

Yes it does, at present you quite deliberately deny marriage to a whole group of people for no good reason.  Nobody is saying that you can’t continue to honour ‘traditional’ marriage, we tolerate your dumb-arsed beliefs, but you expect the rest of the world to adopt your position.  You want to force your cultural and religious sensibilities on everyone else.

Given our track record of tolerance, I suspect the abusive language levelled at us had more to do with our dissent to the gay political agenda to redefine marriage.

You deserve the abuse.  Just because you think you have jesus on your side doesn’t mean you get a free ticket.  Marriage is not being redefined, Howard already did that.  The ACL continues to pander their narrow view of acceptable behaviour on the rest of us, which again has nothing to do with an ad about safe sex.

But dissent is our right in a democracy. It does not make us bigots and it is time social policy debate was free of abuse and slurs.

You’re not dissenting, your trying to maintain the status quo. You are a bigot, and it’s time the social policy debate was free of artifical respect for religious ratbags who are hellbent on inflicting their pathetic religous views on the whole nation just to satisfy their equally pathetic god of the fluffy white clouds.

This is an issue to do with a public health message.  Your kids deserve to know about this, at some stage they’re going to have sex, and if you’ve spent their whole life hiding safe sex messages, then your kids are at risk.  Like it or not, people fuck.  You clearly did, you’ve got kids.  Most people fuck without conceiving, they also play around.  While they’re playing around they should be safe.  Get your head out of the sand.

And yes, you’re a bigot.  You’ve taken a serious message about safe sex and turned it into propaganda about marriage.  Try and tell us you’re not a homophobe now.

 

May 20

[SOURCE]

Pasta Daniel Nalliah at Catch The Fire Ministries1has been saving people for jesus!

I am sure you will remember some time ago we shared the testimony of a young woman who came to CTFM with an evil assignment from the satanic cult in Australia, but the Lord Jesus Christ touched her and she was born-again!

Praise allah!  Can’t you get locked up for touching young women?  Did she have the evil assignment on he iPad or in a sealed envelope perhaps?  But don’t worry, we won’t expect too much information, your word is good enough for the likes of us!

This young lady was very badly burned the first time we saw her. On many occasions she has come to us for help with severe physical injuries, including stab wounds, torture, burns, etc. On 2 occasions I contacted the police because her injuries were so severe. Once the police came to CTFM and on another occasion I personally went to the police station with Jason.  However, I was very surprised to see the way they reacted with no real interest at all.

Police are uninterested in stab wounds, torture, burns and etc?  Really?  Must be some information missing here Danny poo, but don’t let that get in the way of a good story.  Later on in the story you tell us she’s into self harm… you think that’s why the police aren’t interested?  Perhaps they suggested to you that she needs some support from a mental health professional, but no, that wouldn’t fit in with all those demons would it.

We continued to minister the love, truth, and power of Jesus

I can’t believe you actually said truth and jesus in the same sentence, they don’t go together at all.  Best to call on jesus rather than getting someone who knows what they’re doing, like a doctor.

to her over the past one year or more and have cast hundreds of demonic spirits out of this young woman. I have cast out many demons out of many people in many countries, but I must say that I have never seen anyone so demon possessed.

Hundreds of demonic spirits, wow, that’s really impressive.  I’m surprised it hasn’t be on the telly.  No doubt it’s because of her satanic up bringing.  I’m not sure who has the bigger delusion, you because you can make some poor girl wail on a stage, or the girl for thinking you actually ‘cast out’ demons.  How do you know how many?  Perhaps they come out in a puff of black smoke, just like they do on the TV.

Simultaneously, the satanic cult and their demonic hordes continued to attack her which has caused much harm to her.

Oh yes, hordes of demons sent by a cult to attack another cult.  It’s war out there!  Best gather the prayer warriors!  Quick, on your knees, bitches.

I personally received several threats from the cult, which I took to the police. The police responded that they cannot accept my complaint, but would take necessary action if anything happened to me, which I thought was interesting and very strange.

The police are powerless against hordes of demons no doubt, or they’re actually grounded in the real world and understand you’re a complete nutter.

This young woman has been demonically programmed into many personalities, and when one of those demonic personalities is operating, she does not know anything she is doing.

Did you seek appropriate medical advice for her, did you consider dissociative identity disorder? Oh no, you wouldn’t because you clearly know it’s demons and you can cast them out with magic words!

Thus on many occasions, I believe she has harmed herself, but sincerely believes that there are other people from the cult doing it.

So now she’s doing the self harm, but you want to believe it’s also other people. Based on some sort of evidence no doubt.  Oh yes, they’re satanic, want more evidence would you need!  Have you ever looked at someone and thought that they need serious help for their mental stability?  No, you think that you can save them with magic words, a wave of your hands and hugs.

One thing for sure is that there are some very evil people out there who are possessed with demonic spirits who head up the satanic cult and are able to prey on innocent victims, programme them and get their dirty work done.

One thing for sure is that there are some very evil christian people out there who are possessed with delusions who head up the christian cult and are able to prey on innocent victims, programme them and get their dirty work done.

Recently 2 police officers came looking for this young woman at our Sunday night worship service. I met them at the reception along with this young woman. They told her in front of me that her 11 year old half brother was very badly injured and was at the Royal Children’s Hospital. According to this young woman, he died a few days later. She believes he was badly tortured by the satanic cult.

You do know that the police actually investigate that stuff.  Oh, no doubt they’re part of the minions of satan that have been programmed to get his dirty work done.

A few months ago a member of the satanic cult brought a court case against me and tried to get a restraining order against me, so that I cannot minister to this young woman. It was very interesting as I had to appear at the Frankston Magistrate Court.

So, the court will listen to the satanic cult, but not you.

When the Judge read the documentation, he looked at the prosecuting lawyer and said that he was not interested in this case because Catch The Fire was doing a good job in helping this young woman…. He then closed the file and said that he will not issue a restraining order against me. We were so happy to see the way God moved…. Glory to God.

Woo hoo!  The judge was on your side.  No doubt the satanic cult are cursing jesus!  Or the judge knew they didn’t have a leg to stand on and it had nothing to do with you.

I thank God that we did not give up but persisted with this young woman. We are now beginning to see a real breakthrough. In the past 3 weeks many more demonic spirits have left her, she has been coughing up a lot of blood as the evil spirits left her.

Many more demons and she’s coughing up blood.  She’s sounding really sick.  Have you been to the doctors yet? Coughing up blood is very serious.

Glory to God, yesterday Wednesday the 18th of May she was baptised in water at the CTFM base in Melbourne in the presence of around 50 prayer warriors who will continue to work with her until she has complete victory in our Lord Jesus Christ!  I thank God for a fantastic team of prayer warriors he has given me. They are just absolutely fantastic.

Yay!  Another convert. Another poor sick person who has mental, emotional and physical needs that have been completely ignored by this rabid cult, who think dipping you in water is more important than offering medical assistance.  Who think that there’s a war going on with demons and prayer warriors.   A pasta sauce who thinks his pathetic arsehole god, who loves all of his creation, but allows poor innocent girls to be infected with evil demons, gives him prayer warriors.  God gives prayer warriors to Pasta Dan.  What an arrogant asrse.

When we first met this young woman, she could not carry on a conversation due to continually manifesting demons and would often try to run away.

When you say she tried to run away, do you mean that you prevented her from leaving?  You restrained her against her will?

However, yesterday she shared a brief testimony and thanked God for helping her to be free.

Jesus will solve everything!  Just as well she had you to keep her on the straight and narrow.  You’ve save her soul!

She also gave high fives to many on the team and gave me a hug which she could not do before.

There’s a sign of jesus if I ever saw one, christians giving each other high fives.  And I hope she gave you a christian side hug, I’d hate for you to be getting hard holding the previous bride of satan in your arms.

Please pray for this young girl as we believe she will be a powerful witness for Jesus.

Yes, you’ve let her believe that you’ve cast out the demons, so she is now beholden to your cult.  She must now do your dirty work.

She is the granddaughter of Anton LaVey, the founder of the church of satan in the 1960’s in the US.

Spooky!

This girl had a satanic prophetic destiny to fulfil as they wanted her to lead the church of satan for the next generation,

You do realise that this is as concocted as your own stupid beliefs.  No jesus, no satan, stop wasting your life!

but glory to God that she will now fulfil the prophetic destiny of Jesus for the next generation in the Kingdom of God!

Oh and aren’t you the proud one.  God would be so stuck without your greatness.

We need to see more of the supernatural manifest presence of God.

That’d be good, let us know when your almighty god thingy does manifest.  Until then, you really should be held accountable for the vile process of using people with medical and mental health issues as justification for your imaginary friends in the sky.

Many Blessings,

Pr Daniel Nalliah

Oh to be as blessed as you Pasta Daniel Nalliah.  Cover me in your sauce, wet me with your holy water, give me a high five and cast out my demons.

  1. My other blogs on CTFM
May 15

[SOURCE]

ACL maintains that the interests of the birth mother, and especially children, who can never give their consent to the practice, should come before those of the intended parent(s) when it comes to surrogacy.

That’s right, children don’t give their consent to surrogacy.  Therefore we should stop it.

Children don’t give consent to being born either.  We should stop it.

Children don’t give consent to being circumcised, therefore we should stop it.

Children don’t give consent to being baptised.  Therefore we should stop it.

Children don’t give consent to being raised christian.  Therefore we should stop it.

Children don’t give consent to the ACL interfering in the possibility of the child being born into a loving happy family life with two Dads or two Mums, therefore we should take their archaic attitudes, douse them in salt and pop them into a hot oven with a bit of olive oil.

 

May 14

[SOURCE]

I laughed so much at this that I just had to cut and paste it and then pass lots of silly comments about it.  I really wonder at the brain capacity of some people.  It surprises me that there is enough of it to co-ordinate fingers to keys.

As Christians, the horrors of homosexuality remind us of our humanity and the great demands that God asks of us.

Horrors?

We must remember that one day we will sit before the judgment seat and our worst acts will be brought to the fore. We will also be asked to account for our fellow man, our brothers and our fathers, our sons and our fellow Americans. One recalls that moment when God asked Cain about Abel, and Cain’s fateful reply, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Now more than ever we need to be the best brothers’ keepers we can be.

So now, for you to get into heaven you have to be responsible for other people’s ‘sins’?  And salvation is only for Americans?

Within this perplexing set of spiritual responsibilities,

I snorted when I read that!

it is vital that we fight vigilantly against the worst humanitarian disasters surrounding us. To do this, we need to educate ourselves. Sometimes this is difficult. Sometimes this is a realm only for the strong and mature. As we here today take a step into an offensive and demeaning corner of homosexual activity, I can earnestly say that now is one of those moments.

Humanitarian disasters are the human tragedy after an earthquake or a tsunami, people having sex that you don’t approve of is not a disaster.  You know you don’t have to peek around the corner don’t you?  There really is no need for you to look.

Sodomy. It is a vile word.

It is, please don’t use it, it’s a made up christian word.

God justly describes it as in an “abomination” worthy of destruction in both Genesis and Ezekiel.

And yet it was your god that put plump lovely buttocks and huge hairy dicks together and made backside invasion possible!  You should try it.

Medically, human sodomy is defined as penetration of the human anus by a foreign object.

Medically?  I think you mean religiously.  Medically,if they have a term, I think they use anal intercourse.

For homosexuals, this means one male inserts his erect phallus between the buttocks of another male and inserts it quite deeply.

Oh, a size queen!

He will then proceed to pull his member almost all the way out before violently poking it back in again.

Violently – that’s probably rape, although some guys do like it a bit hard.  What you’re describing here is anal intercourse.  You could have just said that, everyone understands that anal intercourse means fucking.

This rectal trespass causes indescribable pain.

Then you’re not doing it properly.

Pharmacy products and even saliva can be used to lubricate the robust activity, although many gays prefer to go without for that “rough and nasty” feeling.

You can get lube in the supermarket, it’s probably a bit cheaper.  Sounds like you might like it a bit rough and nasty, you kinky man you.

Within the homosexual element, there is a group called the “power bottomers.”

There is?  I’ll add it to the list, under “power front bottomers”

The power bottomer is not just an expert at sodomy; he is singularly dedicated to this sexual assault and will entertain no other. Simply put, it is the only way he will achieve ejaculatory gratification.

Ok, your language is very odd.  It’s not sexual assault if it’s consensual.  And so what if it’s the only way someone can get to orgasm.

Recently, power bottoming has moved out of the shadows from a perverse psychological dilemma to a full-blown cultural trend with shamelessly vocal adherents.

What he means is that he read an article on-line about it.  The ‘perverse psychological dilemma’ is really about finding a complementary partner.  If you like to take cock, you want to find someone who is happy to give you cock.  No point two bottoms going out if you’re just after sex.

These types of sodomites delight in their lack of carnal dimensionality and spend much of their free time seeking out a mate who can balance their “queer” equation.

They do?  You mean they search for suitable sexual partners on line – just like straight people do?

The homosexual will exhibit himself in three basic positions for power bottoming:

You’re very well researched.

• Standing against a wall with one’s exposed buttocks swaying out. This is most often employed in public restrooms and gym showers.

Experienced are you?

• Kneeling face down with one’s hands on the floor and the glutinous maximums gesturing upwards. Convenient for abandoned warehouses and private sadomasochistic “dungeons.”

LOL – you know some women do that too.  Oh, and we even do it at home!

• Lying on one’s back with hind legs in the air. Most often occurring in a domestic setting (such as the bedroom), this posture allows for the deepest form of homosexual penetration.

Hind legs?  As opposed to fore legs?  Perhaps you’re really into bestiality. What’s ‘homosexual penetration’? Tried it?  Was he too big for you?

In urban homosexual vernacular, the male penetrator may be a “total top” or “100% top.” “Versatile,” another expression in this lexicon of filth, is gay code for a man who pretends to be a well-endowed penetrator in public, but readily begs to be the recipient of sodomy in the bedroom or alleyway.

Alleyway?  Yes, yes, we are top or bottom and if we like it both ways we’re versatile, it’s a really practical way to find out who you’re getting into bed with rather than wait and be disappointed.  Versatile does not mean you’re lying – you just read that in one article about one man.

Any hint that a potential partner is a “versatile” will scare off a power bottom on the hunt, and he will move deeper into the bushes of a public park or on to the urinals at the local disco to seek his prey.

He moves deeper into the bushes?  Is that where the power tops are hiding these days.  Just as well you told us!

Although leaders of the homosexual community would be loath to admit it, the gay male penetrator top is quite elusive.

Umm… no.  Just coz you can’t get a root doesn’t mean there aren’t any tops around, it just means you’re a sloppy bottom and probably ugly to boot.  Remind me, who are the leaders of the homosexual community?

Attempting to classify him by clothing/body/character types is next to impossible. Because of his rarity, the phrase “power top” has no credibility in gay slang.

You really are making this up as you go along, aren’t you.

Experts have noted that the power bottom has changed the traditional submissive/dominant dynamic of the homosexual copulation ritual.

Your experts are christian fundamentalists who lie for a living.

In this new environment, the bottom takes on the role of the aggressor/hunter, prowling leather bars and anonymous wesbites for a most vigorous backside invasion possible.

Ha! backside invasion… adding that to my list of descriptions of sex.  And, I’ve already used it!  Thanks.

The top penetrator is submissive in this delicate game, letting the “bossy bottom” purchase him expensive cocktails and pay carfare.

I see, so you’re sick of having to pay the bill?

They may wear specially colored scarves and exhibit chest hair to communicate what role they intend to play in this disgusting, fast-paced action.

Hang on, you just said it’s impossible to classify a top by his clothing/body/character type.

Most often, the bottom can be identified by his bearded face, sarcastic flippancy and very tight slacks (to show off the buoyancy of his buttocks).

I think you’ve stumbled into a Bear bar – careful, someone will eat you up!

The power bottom is unrepentant about his effeminate behavior, eschewing any discussion of the immorality of anal violation. This is not to say this type is quiet. Indeed, most are overly loquacious during a physical encounter, cooing then demanding, snarling and then shouting. One clinician has likened it to bearing witness to a veritable convention of Tourette’s sufferers, a shower of relentless profanity and human fluids that sickens as well as fascinates.

The clinician probably needs to find a new boyfriend, he’s current shag sounds unstable and girly.

Over time, the power bottom will come to be defined by his rectum.

His rectum has a name? Perhaps you mean people call him ‘asshole’.

His anus will become a sort of personal occultic shrine, a thing he cares for constantly, pampering it with talc, deep cleaning its pipes and even whitening its ruddiness through medical procedures (see my report on anal bleaching).

Yes, some men like to keep their bottoms clean.  Some women too, I suspect.  Don’t you wipe your arse?

He will spend night and day thinking of the reproductive organs of his past and future conquests, memorizing girth and length, curvature and angularity, foreskin and stamina.

Yeah, men.  They think about sex a lot.  Seems you’ve got a few good memories to fall back on now you can’t find a top.  That should help as you stroke your phallus.

He will view illicit pornographic films and linger in public toilets.

There’s toilets that show porn?  Where.

As this sad predilection overtakes him, family and friends will be cast aside as he seeks out even larger phalluses to fulfill his accursed needs.

You’re projecting again, dear.

And each and every time he sits down, whether it be at the office or church, he will think of the foulest acts of sex.

Men do that, they think about how good it is to spray.

When broken down by race, ethnobiologists have found that the vast majority of power bottoms are Caucasian or light-skinned Latins.

Really?  Perhaps they need to get out of New York or LA.

Whether because of hereditary endowment or social stigma, many blacks prefer the role of penetrator.

Yeah, that’d be because they’ve got big dicks.  Everyone knows that.

Few studies have been done on the significance of anal sex among Asian homosexual males, though anecdotal evidence suggests it is quite rare.

You should visit a few twink bars baby.  Plenty of Asians there wanting cock.

This is surprising, given the fact that Asian heterosexual females engage in sodomistic intercourse far more often than their white female counterparts.

You’re an expert on everything aren’t you!  I bet you live in a high rise and spend your day peeping into other buildings with a high powered telescope.

This statistical anomaly could be explained by the fact that a growing number of white male/Asian female couples exist and that they have been introduced to the act of anal intimacy through atheism and transsexual pornography.

I’m sure if there was such an anomaly you could explain it like that, probably you’d find a proper scientific study would prove your hypothosis wrong, but that’s what science does. But you probably don’t want to know that.

The number of white males who are sodomizing Asian females may also account for the large number of white males being sodomized in male-on-male encounters, for there is a strong overlap of white males who date Asian females and white males who pursue homosexual acts.

Where are you getting this rubbish from?

Indeed, ethnographers have not yet classified the white male who is characterized by this dualistic nature– appearing publicly with Asian women and privately being anally raped by groups of Latin or black males.

You’re really serious aren’t you.  You do understand that if it’s private and consensual it’s not rape.  And groups of latin or blacks?  Wow.

Experience has shown, however, that this growing subset of the American population may pose moral and societal risks for future generations and it is vital that today’s Christians take note of this outrageous trend.

You seem to have a lot of experience.  Just because you can read a few articles doesn’t make it the ‘norm’ any more than a Hollywood film is based on reality.  Now, get on to Manhunt and change “Versatile” to “Bottom” and buy some lube.

 

 

 

 

Apr 27

[SOURCE]
Encounter is a program on Radio National – part of the ABC.  It’s a sort of religious program that apparently ‘explores the connections between religion and life’.  This week they did a story on the floods in Central Victoria and as Martyn Scrimshaw a salvation army officer based in Bendigo was talking I was talking back to him:

Sometimes you really have to think about the response.

I’d suggest you’re not thinking about your responses enough.

Floods I think are – droughts and floods are probably a little bit easier, in that we live in a country where we will have droughts, and we will have flooding rains, and when the rain comes it does flood.

Well yes, you’ve got that right.  The response is fairly inane.  The question you really need to ask is why do we have floods and droughts if your god really cares?

And to a certain extent, talking to farmers and things,

You talk to things?

it puts hope in, like they might have lost their crop,

Not only have they lost a crop to flooding, but they’ve had many failed crops because of lack of water.

but the fact is that we needed a flood to fill dams, we needed a flood to fill the lakes and reservoirs, the long-term benefit of that flooding rain will be incredible.

OK, I agree, we need rains.  But really, what’s the point?  Surely your god is clued up enough to understand the devastation his lack of attention to details causes.  Rather than allow ten years of drought and then fill the damns over one weekend, why not give us about 30mm of rain a month, enough to keep everything topped up and prevent flooding.  He could also arrange for the rain to happen about 4.00 a.m. so it causes minimal disruptions.  Once a month we should have a bloody good thunderstorm with lots of thunder and lightning, I like a good thunderstorm.

The farmers can plant now knowing that the soil’s moist enough to plant, without worrying about looking at the sky.

I’ve yet to meet a farmer who doesn’t worry about the rain, just the right amount.  They are always looking at the sky, probably hoping now that they get good follow up rains with no more flooding, and then wondering if they’ll get enough water next season.

We just hope that the winter is fairly kind to us. But that’s the country we live in.

Would that be the country that your god created?  Your bastard god must’ve known that eventually we’d be trying to grow crops to feed the world.  Perhaps it was his day off.

How do we explain earthquakes and tsunamis and things like that? I don’t really know, all I know is that there is still hope.

Hope?  You’re hoping for earthquakes, tsunamis and things like that (are they the same things you talk to?).  If you don’t know how to explain them, then talk to a scientist.  Earthquakes happen when the crust of the earth moves.  It’s in big slabs and the slabs rub against each other as they move, causing shocks.  The shocks stir up the water, the water makes a wave and crashes when it hits the land.  See easy, and no need to wonder if god did it!

And while creation might groan, and nature throws these things at us,

If creation could groan, it’d be groaning about stupid religious types who thinks nature throws things.  Nature doesn’t give a flying fruit bat’s piss about you.

it’s out of that that we see incredible human good, how people support each other, encourage each other, that we haven’t got empty pockets, that we can still reach out.

Really?  Could it be that people just really care for their family and friends, their communities.  Not because of an evil god character, but because that’s how we do it in this society.  When you look at the devastation in Haiti after their earthquake you’ll see what little impact a few floods have actually had.  The people of Haiti now live an even worse existence with roaming gangs and no law.  The reason we handle natural disasters so well is because we have good government, wealth and support systems.

I believe that just shows us the good side that God created.

The good side?  So, your arsehole god also created a bad side that causes the death and destruction just so you can see the good side?  What an arse about system you believe in.

Coming up on Encounter:

The King James Bible – The Translation

Sunday 01 May 2011

First in a two-part series marking the 400th anniversary of the publication of the King James Bible. This week: the story of how six companies of men produced a new translation that has come to be regarded as one of the greatest works in the entire canon of English literature.

Oh, how exciting. I can hardly contain myself…

Apr 21

[SOURCE]

While driving along the freeway this couple in their late 70′s and elders of the inexcusable Catch The Fire Ministries had an accident.

They were towing a trailer and noticed it wasn’t travelling correctly, so pulled over on the side of a very busy freeway to make  some adjustments.  Realising that this wasn’t particualarly safe, they got in the car just in time to see a set of headlights in the rear view mirror, that car then collided with them, smashing the trailer and ripping the roof off their car.

In their supreme arrogance, they credit god with saving their old arses from meeting him.  They reckon it’s a mircale.  Why?  Because:

My husband’s words were “Oh. No.”.  He was the driver at the time and could see it all coming.  On hearing those words I knew that this meant TROUBLE, and my immediate response was to call out ‘J E S U S’ as in a cry for help, and at that very moment my husband sensed a covering come over the two of us

That’d be my response too – although probably more like “Oh, no, jesus fucking christ, duck!”

And what’s the sense of covering coming over the two of you?  Like a table cloth, or maybe the tarp off the trailer? Perhaps he wet himself? And when telling the story do you yell the word TROUBLE and do you double space J E S US?  Do you talk in capital letters?  And why the fuck, I ask again, why the fuck would god protect you crusty old farts while letting this two year old in another accident die?  Or any other people die in accidents that their stupid dumb-arsed non-existent god could have easily provided a ‘covering’ for them?

So, the minute this elderly couple get out of the car they start praising their precious god and thanking him and telling everyone there about how jesus saved them.  This is the same jesus that could have prevent the whole catastrophe by ensuring the trailer was secured and tied down before they left, or he could have made sure the driver of the other car was paying attention, or he could have prevent the old farts from driving on the freeway.  But no, they actually think that he performed a miracle to save their rubbery bottoms.

To further expand they then think that because jesus saved them, that he is now opening doors when they go to seek help.

As we are connecting with people in the legal system, we are receiving favour in so many areas which is very unusual in this day and age, e.g., we are often told “sorry we cannot help you”, and when we produce photos of our wreckage, people are absolutely shocked that we made it out alive.  They change their attitude and ask us to “please take a seat, and I will get someone to help you”.

Pardon me while I cover my mouth with a slightly clenched fist and do a little cough.

Do you think that perhaps the reason the legal system is helping you is because somebody hit you and caused damage thereby putting them in the wrong?

There’s way too much misery, death, destruction and all around unhappiness in the world. It’s very arrogant of anyone to suggest that it is god looking after them in their good fortune.

As we head into this celebration of Dead Deity on a Stick, as people move around to go home to be with their families and friends over this extra long weekend, be careful out there, not because accidents happen, but because christians are out there waiting for a miracle, resist the urge to aim your car towards them.

Apr 18
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